Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
