I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
