Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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