yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
