is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
