dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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