Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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