there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
