Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
