You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
