my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
