i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
