The maid of honor just puked.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize