That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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