I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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