just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
