Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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