i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
