No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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