yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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