Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
