My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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