how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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