I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
