are you still at the devil's house?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
third nipple confirmed
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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