I'm jealous of your bromance
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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