You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
