You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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