Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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