i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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