I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
