I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
