Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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