when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
