Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
