i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
