Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
