I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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