I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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