i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
