apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
