He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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