We're like a lot better than the average bears
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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