sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
