Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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