last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
love makes seman taste better
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
