yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Randomize
