no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
50% drunk capacity currently
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
