Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just invented taco cereal.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dick very happy bro
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
