It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
