wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
