ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
