Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
