threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
