I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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