i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
