You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize