I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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