Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
