I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
