I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
