somebody snuck up and got me drunk
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
