The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
