I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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