Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
